How to stay motivated while doing a PhD and juggling motherhood; my POV

I started my first semester as a PhD student on February of 2013. Maya was about 6 months old then. Now three semesters have passed and she is two already! Honestly I am surprised at how much time has passed when you are juggling a toddler and a PhD degree. Some Masters student have asked me if it is possible to have a child while doing a PhD? Is it worth it? Is it difficult? My answer would be that it would be very, very difficult. You can't stay late in the lab anymore because you need to pick up your child in the evening. You have to manage time very, very wisely. Your progress will be somewhat a little slow as compared to other people who can stay late and who can continue writing/reading journals at home (although this can't be true.. progress is different because different people have different skills.. if you are already skillful in doing labwork that's a bonus). Sometimes you have to go to the lab during the weekend and miss spending time with your child. The one question I kept having in my mind is, am I being a good enough mother? Is PhD worth missing my daughter? If you don't have the courage or passion big enough for research, don't do it (having child while doing PhD, or, doing a PhD at all!). But if you do, trust me, it is worth it. More than anything, my daughter is one of the topmost things that keeps me motivated.

PhD is hard. It is not something you expect to be done in 3-4 years time (of course some people had done it). You had a plan, but eventually some of the plans will not go according to what you intend them to be. By three semesters, I've had it all. I became so demotivated by the lack of positive results as well as supervising that I started to play hooky. I came to the lab but I would be doing something that is mostly not research related (spending time on the internet, etc etc.). Until one day I just realized how selfish I have been. I left my daughter in the care of a stranger and here I am not doing anything productive and basically just slacking off being a student and a mother. So I wrote a goal and set my mind on this one simple thing;

GIVE YOUR 100% FOCUS AT WORK AND 100% FOCUS ON YOUR FAMILY WHEN YOU ARE HOME.

I did exactly that and so much positive things have happened since then. I am happier, I'm getting a lot of positive feedbacks in my research, and most importantly, I know I won't regret leaving my daughter in the care of someone else.

3,4 (or 5, 6, oh God) semesters to go! I'd say Good Luck to those people like me!

Entering Week 2 of weaning off..

I failed! Terribly! Hahaha

After that first few nights of crying herself to sleep, I read that to start weaning off, you have to do it gradually. Like skipping nursing time during the day, wear normal bra instead of nursing (so babies find it hard to nurse) etc. etc.. Plus, my breast hurt so much from the milk not being drained that I finally offered her the love of her life (or what she claims as "shushu shedap").

And Maya has now learned to say "please, Mama." when she asked for shushu with the most helpless (and adorable) expression that I can't say no! Even Najmi begged me to give her what she wants upon hearing that "please, Mama." Sheesh. So much for willpower.

I guessed when the right time comes, Maya will wean off on her own. And I hope that would be soon. Haih.